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Date: Tuesday, 18. December 2018
Name: Ant man
Living in: flag Canada
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Homepage:
Description:
It was a moonless night with the exception of Dirty Frank who had stuck his buttocks out his bedroom window to serenade with loud blasts akin to an elephant having an allergy attack blowing on a tuba sporadically breaking the relative quiet street.
I had just finished typing this when my 18 year old son come up and looked at what I had written. He looked at me. "Why?"
"Look at the title," I answered. "I am writing a description."
"First off, I think they are looking for something to describe you," he said sternly. "Secondly, why would you write a description of Mr. Thompson?" He read the line again. "And why would you write something like that? Irritable bowel syndrome is a serious social and medical condition that shouldn't be mocked."
"I know how serious it is," I stated defensively.
My son stood up, folded his arms and said "yet you invited Mr. Thompson for breakfast and gave him a bean and broccoli omelette." His arms unfolded and leaned into me. "And then you dropped him off at church. People went out to their cars and hung the air fresheners from them on their noses just so they could finish hearing the sermon." He paused. "They ended up tossing out that pew, you know."
"So what do you think I should write?" I asked, expertly changing the subject. He thought about it for a moment.
"Something that people would find interesting," was his answer.
"Like the time I found this droid with a hologram of a princess and I went to save her?"
"That's Star Wars, dad."
"Oh. What about how I come up with a different plan every night on how to take over the world?" I said. He sighed.
"That's Pinky and the Brain."
"Oh."
"Okay, so you're not very interesting," he admitted. "Write something that tells people that you aren't crazy."
"I'm 49, married with four kids. I live in a country where six months of the year my scrotum hibernates in my stomach to avoid the cold." I stated. "Sanity hasn't been a fond companion of mine."
"Maybe you should consider taking up quilting."

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Languages: English
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